Two shall become one

“That was it

I was finished.

I was done.

It was as if I had reached my lifelong limit of lies

I could not tell one more lie

And maybe I’m a sucker

Cause if I had told just one more lie

I could have walked from all that mess

Kept my wings, kept my false sense of PRIDE

Even more importantly, I could have avoided being ‘locked’ up……..

But I’m here.”

I was at that point where I didn’t know what to do next. I was torn between family and family and I had to take a decision on what to do next. Whichever side I took I would always be the bad guy. Being neutral is the best decision any man would take and still be on good books with everyone and that’s what I did albeit with good intentions but was wrongly misinterpreted.

I could never understand why

I only knew how.

Far away I was from the ’squabble’

Yet so near in spirit.

Oh shucks, the calls couldn’t be resisted.

And call after call they came.

A gadget was to be the cause of it all

And there began my Poison Ivy story.

I loved them both but her the most. The one my heart desired and wanted to be with all my life. The Good Book clearly states, “For this reason a man shall LEAVE his father and mother and be joined to his WIFE, and the two shall become one flesh……Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:5,6) but I clearly hadn’t let my other family go. They clung to me, or should I say me to them; and in this case even my poison ivy.

“How you doing bro?

Coolio siz. You know me.

What’s up? Bored this weekend let’s do this, what do you say?

As always baby gal. We go hard, right

That’s my bro. coming over then. Get ready.”

And that’s how our lives were before she came along; the one my heart leapt for. She was the sunshine that lit the darkness inside (oh that’s cliché). The one I couldn’t take my eyes of. She had a bounce in her walk that just made you know ‘the queen is here’ :-). I (Romeo) and Juliet had never been friends but this one I would never let walk away. The look in her eyes, the illuminating smile, her glistering face in the sunshine, the curvaceous figure (I could go on but you get the point). Yes she was the one for me. I knew it and felt it.

You have to learn to follow your heart.

You can’t let other people pressure you into being something that you’re not.

If you want God’s favor in your life,

You must be the person He made you to be;

Not the person your parents want you to be

Or even the person your friends want you to be.

You can’t let outside expectations keep you from following your heart.

 

And following my heart I did. I pursued her, literally. (Okay I stalked her; happy now.) And mine I made her *Aliingia box*. The days were good, the nights even better. The evening walks, the hopeless romantic with all the poetry, coffee dates (you get the drift). I was the happiest man with the most beautiful lady by my side. No one could touch me. I was on top of the world. *sigh* I was very happy till that one ‘poison ivy’ moment.

My other quiet ‘Ivy’ graduating

The happiest day for her.

Done with the system

Now into the real world

And my ‘poison Ivy’ would never miss such.

The travels and click-click moments, her grandeur;

And oh did she steal the show.

I was the happiest brother around but far away I was on some assignment in the land of a thousand hills. ‘I was Mbob Mwangi, the Contractor’. I missed her grand moment but I had to make it special all the same. So I had My Lady organize a luncheon for her and family. It was be THE family get together. It was a good moment and a good report I got.

I never read between the lines therefore thought all was good. The moment of truth came when it was time to return the favour and hand over the equipment. The click-click moments were over and it was time to head back home; the Coast but first the hand over.

My lady waiting, ‘poison Ivy’ roaming.

In hand the gadget, at the chill spot frustration.

Then the war of words exploded.

This was it; the breaking point.

And in the middle of it was I.

Call after call came and I just couldn’t take it. Gave one hell of a lecture to ‘Ivy’ that I knew our relationship took a beating but also tried provoking calm and peace to my lady that went southwards before my word completion. She hang up. It was done!

I lost one. I don’t know. I lost them all.

I ended up believing it was my fault

Closed my eyes to squeeze try to block that thought

Placing heavy burden on me, please not that Lord.

Time to go back it goes forward

Can’t run from the pain got to pause it

So that things can be explained what caused it.

It never did. It’s like having my life restarted. I want to be a part of her again. I broke her heart. I lost her. Mistakes were made. Choices were made. None for the better, all down the gutter. I want my family back. MY FAMILY. As the Good Book clearly states, “For this reason a man shall LEAVE his father and mother(brothers and sisters too) and be joined to his WIFE, and the two shall become one flesh……Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, all of it

I’ve been doing some writing too.

I apologize to all the people that tried to help me along the way but I couldn’t or wouldn’t listen

People like my girlfriend (bitter swallow) my ex-girlfriend, family and friends

And again like I said, you know, some of them will never forgive me, some of them will

But at least I’m sober (I know the truth)

I thank God for that. I’m grateful for that.

And this is going to sound stupid from a man (that was) locked up in (that) ‘prison’

But for the first time in my life, I’M FREE! “

 

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The band on my hand

I look at the band on my hand

Look at the memory it holds with me

Look at the smile it shines back at me

Look at the brightness it shines through to me

But the more I look at it, the more I want them all back

All it brought and all it resembled

All it signified and all it wrote

And spoke to me, in me all it provoked.

Many memories, many fights,

A lot of laughs, a lot of cries

Few people, one true friend

A lot of hope, magnified peace

All that existed was nothing but joy

It signified a lot and still does.

RED evidenced pain and the tears shed

Seething anger to the hurt and mistrust felt

Wanting revenge but holding back because it wasn’t worth

For the pain was reciprocated by love and care

You always held on for you knew the value

The greatness and vision all in your sight

You saw it all and removed the RED for red

A moment of silence to let go of the hurt

SELF-CONTROL!

BLACK encompasses the oneness

Of the heart, mind and soul

Of each of us all through this journey

I can never signify your essence

But I can envision your presence

A moment of silence for the one I hold dear

UNITY!

GREEN all resembled the cultivation we made

To beautify the landscape of love

To water the garden of togetherness

All to bring out the ultimate achievement

Of me and you together as one

We made it and need to maintain the scenery

A moment of silence for us to enjoy the beauty within us

LOVE!

WHITE in all its peace it brought

The hope that we are one and united

Sacrifices we took to be that one chord

I can never forget the struggles we had to achieve that

Moment of silence for the inner soul begs for that

PEACE!

That’s my band on my hand

My RED, BLACK, GREEN and WHITE

From the one that gave it to me

I hold it dear for its future is my present

And my present is its future

My heart speaketh!

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I am being ME!

Sometimes I might not differentiate right from wrong

I live knowing that my steps are guided

By the Most High and my life is defined.

I redefined but I always end up screwing up

But I’m always back on track

Through the disarrangement by Him.

In so many words I am walking through this world

Treading wearyingly through this dirt surface

To fall in line with His plan for my life;

All to define His purpose of my life on this earth

Guiding and redirecting my life through all shallow bridges

I may hide myself in the name of my arrogance

In the face of my stupidity, stubbornness and cockiness.

Therefore,

I live for I know my purpose is yet to be fulfilled

I walk for I know my journey is not yet over

I smile for I put joy in someone’s heart

I cry for I know the pain is shared

I run for I know the devil is always lurking

I write for that’s what makes my heart at peace

I pray for I know He is listening

I look up and see his beautiful face

I may not know what I’m doing

But I’m living the life He set me out to live

I am being ME!

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Rest In Peace Brothers!

Look at the pain in his eyes

Look at the tears in his eyes

Look at the fear in his face

Worry, uncertainty, concern.

He knows not what holds next

He might be next in line

To be called to be the guard of honour

The main man for the mission

The guy who would protect us all

But he is scared for he feels insecure.

Sacred to his calling, he goes forth

Not knowing what holds

But all he knows it’s his duty

To protect, to serve, to defend.

What he vows will be the last thing that would bring him down;

Fear.

He lays down his life

For the security of her

For the safety of his child

For the sake of the nation.

He put it all down for one cause

Protection of all.

For the departed soldiers

You are heroes to the eyes of the nation

You are the darling to the land that gave birth to you

And you are the force that drives us forth

For your loss is not in vain

For our survival we will fight for you

You passing is not in vain

We cry; but we fight on in and for truth

Rest In Peace Brothers!

To the departed soldiers that lay it all down for the defence of our beloved nation.

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Bounty Hunter (Gain the world……lose your soul)

5.00am in the morning, the alarm rings

I got to wake up and prep for school, damn

“But this dream was too sweet, just 10 ten more minutes”

I would tell myself.

Then mom would pass by my room and say,

‘Wake up Solo….you will be late for school?’

Still drowsy and more sleepy than ever

My ‘lazy self’ remembers the snooze button

And think just 10 more minutes and sheepishly utter,

‘Sawa mum….’ and gently go back to sleep.

The morning air breeze calmly and gently caresses my face

Who would wake up from that slumber, would you?

 

10mins seems like 1second gone by and a stern voice cuts short my slumber,

‘…Kijana bado umelala, wake up…..’

Who wouldn’t wake up from that?

My rat race began from that point to this day.

 

School instilled in me hard work, work ethic, and personal growth

A lot about who I am to be, what to do and,

My antennas were broadened to achieve anything that I want

Specialize in everything around.

I can be a musician, I can be a pilot, and I can be a doctor,

What would you be?

I can be an aeronautical engineer; I can be a soccer player,

You can call me Balotelli, the man of the moment (striking the macho man pose)

I can be anything I want to be

But nobody told me I can be me.

So I set out into life, into the rat race;

Filled with the hope of life, all achievable in this time frame.

Man, you should have seen me then, titanic ain’t got anything on me.

I was a walking Godzilla, going out to achieve EVERYTHING.

Anything you threw at me, I hit it right back

Used to fly with superman by my side,

Would you say anything about that?

I was the ballers’ baller,

The players’ player

You couldn’t tell me anything,

I would sideline you as a talker.

 

Then life hit me hard with the mother of all words, EXPERIENCE.

Showed me I was a weakling, an inflated balloon of fantasies

I was the talker, she was the walker

I was a small boat, she was the titanic

But still I held the hope, that I would breakthrough

That ‘hope’ light still flickering, that I would make it through

That I would stand tall, and be the voice of truth

That I can be anything I want to be, and still be me.

 

5-bedroomed mansion house, overlooking the sea out wide

Picture that.

Range rover sport out in the parking lot

Huge office space, you can call me the boss.

Beautiful, sexy girl, damn, how about I make her my wife

The cry of a baby girl, wish that was my child.

*smelling* the smell of fresh air, now that’s the life.

You still with me or are you already in the fantasy world…

Reality check……….that’s my life

I GOT the girl, got the girl, I got the sport, I got the house.

Yeah, I got it all, I got it all

but still I don’t have it all.

Would you call that the ABUNDANT LIFE?

I become the ‘bounty hunter’,

Gaining the luxuries of the world, yet losing my soul?

Don’t blame me, I was envisioned to gain all that.

And now I got it all; but I got nothing INSIDE at all.

How about we meet in the corridors of thought,

And think about it all……

                                                                                   …….to be continued.

 

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the MAN

I look at my life and where am from

Look at the journey and path taken all along

Crooked, misguided, fruitful, well in abundance

If you ask me if I would change anything at a glance

My answer would be a resounding NO; and yes in some instances, why not

But what I would never change is the fact that God gave me that one chance

To be who I am, a leader, a warrior, a MAN.

He created Heaven and Earth a d proceeded to create man

In His own image and likeness and was glad

That He looked at everything and got to see it was good, thumbs up.

Fast forward to the man that lives in this age and time, NOW

Well versed, articulate, eloquent, skill all in abundance

Mastery in his art, like His art of creation in His time

‘cause he was created in His own image and likeness,

you can call me His SON.

A father, a brother, a friend, a counselor, each an added plus

To his ever growing list of accolades accorded to him as he lives his life.

I can go on and on and on about it but he is much of a dying breed right now

Living an almost perfect life, almost Christian-like,

almost like the David’s and Solomon’s in their prime

Almost a true gentleman, almost a perfect husband and boyfriend,

almost winning that fight.

Fuelling an almost win being worth more than a no win in broad daylight

Believing it to be better than a perfect win designed by the one true DEAN

Of life and everything in this land,

‘cause He created everything and mapped out his life.

When I was a child, I talked like a child

I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.

Now I know in part but then I shall know just as am also known

And now abide faith, hope, and love

These three, the greatest of these is LOVE.

But always an almost love for Thee

An almost love to her from him,

From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks

Something like,” baby, you know I love you dearly.”

No wonder the wo-MAN looks at us and wonders why we are always mean.

She cries for that TOTAL attention, tender loving, care and trust

Just the way he took a rib and created EVE.

‘This is the LAST bone of my bones,

And flesh of my flesh.

This one will be called wo-MAN

‘cause from the MAN this one was taken.

Yet they lived in the garden, man and his wife, naked

Together and they did not even once become ashamed of it.’

God calls all MEN to be naked in His eyes

Not to be almost naked but totally naked in His eyes

Totally sold out to Him and to totally submit to their wives

Ready to tackle anything with a mentor, a friend, a brother or even a wife

And take the checked flag for we will win this fight

Man you are a warrior destined for greatness

Not an almost win, almost succeeded fight

But a fully won victory in all eyes of the crowd

And we will stand and say, we won the FIGHT.

‘cause in everyone’s and His eyes, we are the warrior, the MAN.

Be that good man and live that good life destined

By the one true divine, the master of time

For in the beginning, God created heavens and earth

Then proceeded to create in His own image and likeness, the MAN!

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my prayer

I may not know everything;

I may be among the people trying to make life smooth and right,

But what I see everyday is so disheartening and not right

A lot of people look at the wrong places for hope and resurrection

Carrying burdens that are so heavy and wear them down

Loosing the essence of Christ dying on the cross for our sins

He says come to me the way you are and confess your sins

He is willing to forgive and forget all things

‘Lord, just say a word and I shall be healed’

And just like that all burdens and worries will be washed away

And a new person born again and a new spirit renewed within you.

I can’t for see the future but I know how it will end

When all there will be is happiness, laughter and no regrets

When love will conquer all and all will be nothing but the best

But before then the path is narrow, crooked and full of displeasure and distress

be it economical, psychological, and personal or even everything in our path put to the test.

The situations and pressures will wear us down when all we will need is rest

Tender loving and care and out with everything pulling us down again and again.

This is a message to people like me who want everything to be the best

Who want happiness, love, care, compassion to be the cornerstones of their lives

Be it of family, personal, friends, and loved ones, even in their own lives.

We fail and some of the mistakes are heavy to carry thus wear us down

Its time to let go and rise up again for we owe it to our future wife and lives

For Christ died on the cross to take this burden away from us

And make our yoke light

With everything associated with us

and thus we need to stand up and fight

All the evil and malice, and make the best of what is called LIFE!

 

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